I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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