i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
