Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
