I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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