so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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