If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
