He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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