Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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