someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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