your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
A+ Viking dick
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
