I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
