my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
