i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
