im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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