I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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