Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
