you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
