whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
