Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
