Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
