He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
