i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
