margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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