garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
