We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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