She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
