um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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