gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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