i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
