Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
