bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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