worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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