I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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