I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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