I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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