haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
