Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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