went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can't put those talents on a resume
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
