i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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