Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
