But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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