His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
