Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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