Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
