I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
