My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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