so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
