no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
