he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
then he tried to convert me to islam
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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