Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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